by Belinda | Seeking
How do you seek the Lord with all your heart? I know I struggle with how to define ‘Seeking God.’ What does it look like? Is it going off to a monastery in solitude and meditating quietly alone? Is that how I should separate myself as unto the Lord? As appealing as it sounds, and yes, it really does sound lovely to me, that is not what seeking at my house looks like.
It looks like getting up earlier than I want to and having a conversation with God, my heavenly Father who actually wants to talk to me. He doesn’t always stay on my topics, but He does show up when I take the time to wait. I’m not wired to wait well, but over time I’ve gotten better at it.
If I want to seek the Lord I’ve discovered I must create a space in my world where He is welcome. Where He can come and visit with me through His Word, through teachings of others, through my own prayers and through worship. Can He believe I’m in with all my heart, if I don’t set a time or place in my life where He is invited to talk without distractions?
I discovered making that time and waiting for Him were the hardest things to do. My life was so busy, so filled with noise, work, expectations and commitments that any extra time was a great luxury. In the beginning I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend that on God, horrible thing to say, but true. Surely God knew how busy I was? It felt wrong, it felt like an extravagance when I should be getting something done. Surely He knew all the things that needed to be accomplished in the next several hours. Would He really want me to simply sit quietly reading, praying and listening?
Yes, He knew and yes, He really wanted me to carve out a time to be with Him. The only way to know God, is to spend time with Him. Simple, right? One of the greatest fights I’ve had is to make a consistent time in my life for God. Everything, and I do mean everything, fights against it.
I saw a picture one day while I was praying. It was a water faucet. I saw my hand turn it on when I needed the water and off when I was done. I felt the Lord’s voice inside saying, “This is what life in the Kingdom of God is like.” I saw that everything I needed was sourced from God. When I needed water, financial resources, emotional supply, hope, peace or anything else that was missing, I could turn on the handle and it would come pouring out of heaven. Wow. What an idea. A true image that there is no lack in God. But I still didn’t really understand how I could access this supply.
One day while I was praying about our finances, I heard the question, “Do you know what the handle of that faucet is?” (See, how He seems to be off topic?) I didn’t know what the handle was.
“It’s stewardship,” He said.
Well, there was a sinking sensation inside my belly and my brain went off with thoughts of despair, because I am a bad steward of money. It has always been a challenge. A feast or famine sort of lifestyle has been my pattern and experience but in the middle of my internal chaotic thoughts I heard Him say—and I need to tell you this is the only time in all my life with God that He has interrupted me. Usually when I start fussing about something He simple stops talking and waits for me to be quiet. Not this time. He spoke right over my thoughts. He said,
“It is not stewardship of money that allows you to live resourced from My Kingdom. It is stewardship of My presence, of our relationship, that determines your connection to the Kingdom.”
Stewarding my time with Him. Whew. I was so relieved that He asked me to do something I knew I could do. He did not shame me for my past but encouraged me into a future of coming closer. Of learning His heart and ways that are so different than mine. He has mysteries, opportunities, strategies to share that I will never know if I don’t sit with Him and wait to hear what’s on His heart and mind. So most mornings you will find me sitting quietly listening, waiting and seeking. Spending the time to steward this spiritual relationship that I thought was my gift to Him but now know it is His gift to me. Join me?
Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3
You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the Lord; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart. Hebrews 24:7
If you feel out of practice you might grab a cup of coffee or tea, get settled and listen to God tell you how He loves you through Graham Cooke. | Expectations
Or read the post Healing Words from a Dialogue with God by Sylvia Gunter
by Belinda | Seeking
It feels like I’ve spent most of my life hearing Jesus say, “Are you coming?”
“Are you going to get out of the boat? Will you follow Me down the road wherever it leads?”
I woke up one morning some months ago to hear Him speaking loudly in my heart, “Seek. Seek. Seek.” It surprised me because I thought I was already seeking. But in God there is always more. Every dream, every word, every gift, every challenge is an invitation to come closer. To join Him in a conversation to find out more from His heart. He was asking me to seek Him intentionally, without agenda, with all my heart so I could know Him better.
”You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
My true spiritual quest started a year or so ago when I realized I did not love God with my whole heart. Something in me resisted Him. Some fear lived in a dark corner of my heart. Fear that if I gave God all of me my worst fears would be realized—He would not be a good Father but a terrorizing ruler. One who would see my shortcomings, my lack and my sin and banish me completely.
What lies the enemy of God wraps around us. Like a kitten unraveling a ball of string I followed the string into play until it entangled me completely. Until it immobilized me spiritually with a deep foreboding of who God really was and what He wanted with me.
“In the cave you fear to enter lies the treasure that you seek.”
This quote, attributed to Joseph Campbell, was on a note stuck to my computer for over a year while a loving God softly spoke words of truth and love to my shaking, broken, child heart that was desperately afraid of the dark.
If I could give you one gift it would be the gift of seeing His goodness and intent toward you. YOU are beloved, loved beyond imagination. A world created in beauty, in wonder…for you. A beloved, only Son, given in pain and death…for you, so your heavenly Father could meet with you face to face. His heart longs to be loved by His children. We will never be home until we seek Him through the fear, past the fear into the cave of the unknown. That is faith. That is seeking.
Let Him lead you into the place of unknown. Seek Him to find His Father’s heart that delights in you. When God woke up dreaming, He created you. He created an amazing earth, a lovely garden for us. To show us what He is like. To show us how He loves…in extravagance and beauty. His love is truly never ending but to find it, to find Him, I must look up from my busy tasks and intentionally look for Him. He has promised to be found when I seek.
You are wondrously made. You are delightful. You are God’s Wildest Dream. Seek the One who made you and gave His all to be friends with you. He wants you to find Him. He’s waiting expectantly to fold you in His arms.
Heavenly Father, help us seek you. Help us find you. Help us to receive your love. As Paul prayed, help us to be rooted and grounded in your love, that we may be able to understand what is the breadth and length and height and depth of it and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge. Amen.
Music | Reckless Love of God – Live Bethel Worship
by Belinda | Seeking
Do I walk with Jesus? Well, I always have, sort of. My spiritual life was not anything I ever wanted to share with others because there was so much confusion in it. Why would I want to invite others into this life that seemed a bit tormented…knowing there was a God who is, in fact, real but not understanding Him enough to see an impact in my life? Hungry for a spiritual life but seeing bits and pieces only, yet nothing big or meaningful enough to fill or heal. How could I, in good conscience, offer this to others? My short answer: I couldn’t and never really did. It’s not that I was ashamed of Him, just wary, fearful and definitely not a credible witness of His goodness. Trapped in a space just short of the promised land looking longingly toward the place of my freedom and joy.
Who takes our hand and leads us alongside Jesus so we might look into His face and see only love? People like Heidi Baker kept me seeking, asking, knocking and hoping for a personal glimpse of His goodness as expressed though her ministry to The One. The One lost in the darkness of the most poverty stricken nation on earth. Jesus walks with her into the villages right to The One who is most without hope. The One woman in the village who had such little value she had never even been given a name. He leaves the ninety-nine…to go after The One. That is the Jesus I wanted. The Jesus who placed such a high value on us that he left heaven to give us life. He actually died to give us an introduction to our heavenly Father so we could be loved deeply and extravagantly. So we could know our Father who created wildflowers, whales, rivers and summer skies for us.
Joyfully for me, I finally met Him. He is all and more I ever dreamed. He whispers to me that I am all and more than I ever dreamed, too. He also speaks of you. That you, too are all and more than you ever knew or dreamed. That your value to Him is the highest treasure on earth. I speak to those of us who know we are misfits, ordinary or broken and are tormented by the glimpse of something hopeful. We are the writers, artists, poets, creative dreamers, spiritual ones longing for a spiritual life, a beautiful, peaceful place to be truly alive. I am convinced if you and I continue to seek Him, He will be found by us. Even more, I am convinced that He will find us and express His great love and delight to us. Today I can say I am His and life with Jesus is a most wondrous adventure filled with a love and acceptance worth more than anything on earth. I encourage you to keep seeking, Precious Ones. He is looking for you, too.
What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? Matthew 18:12
For he chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will. Ephesians 1: 4-5
Music | Reckless Love of God – Live Bethel Worship
